#17 – Beyond Resolutions: 7 Alternative Approaches to Planning Your 2026

In this special New Year’s Eve episode, Melissa and Desiree explore alternative approaches to New Year's resolutions, focusing on habits, relationships, dreams, spiritual health, and financial goals. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness, compassion, and incremental changes to foster personal growth in 2026.

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Transcript

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Happy New Year, everybody. Welcome to today's episode, the last episode on the last day of 2025. Oh my goodness. What good timing. mean, it's like having a New Year's Eve party with our listeners and our friends. I'm excited. Dez and I have had so much fun prepping for our podcast today. We are going to talk about seven alternate approaches to the new year if you don't want to make a specific New Year's resolution. We're looking through things like our nervous system, habits, money, relationships. We're gonna throw out a little bit of everything. And I want you to think of today's episode as your own all you can eat buffet. We're gonna set the table and you can pick and choose whatever you like. You might find that one approach really resonates and you just wanna run with that. You might find that you wanna take a little bit of this and that and make up your own beautiful plate of a mixture of the approaches. There's some great nuggets in here and things that we will incorporate in our own lives, things that we've done in the past, things that we wanna take forward with us because there's some great ideas. Year's work for some people, there are actually so many ways to approach crossing a threshold from one year to the next. And our prayer is that you'd find something that really speaks to your heart. As you're picking and choosing what approach you would like to use as you look ahead, there's two guiding questions that we thought would be the foundation of all the different approaches. The number one question being, who am I becoming in 2026? What do I want to carry with me? I love this one so much. And this feels really thoughtful and kind, like kindness and generosity towards my own heart. But what kind of support do you need moving forward in 2026? And so we're excited to go ahead and talk through some ways of getting into the year or thinking about moving forward. Mel, do you want to get us started with one of the first ways we could approach the year? Yeah, approach number one, and this is a favorite of mine, is looking at the year through the lens of your habits. How might I approach 2026 by building healthy habits into my life? I love this approach because if you're not somebody who's particularly futuristically minded, Not everybody is setting their one year, five year, 20 year goals. I've spoken with people over the years and sometimes they're going, well, I really like to live in the present moment. I'm not somebody who necessarily has a strong futuristic vision. How do I approach a year if if I'm not trying to build something or create something huge for my life? I think the answer there is habits. If you're wanting to go into 2026 and feel like you're making some forward progress, you're never going to regret adopting more healthy habits in your life. Mm, this is so good. If I'm not projecting forward, it helps you ground into that present. How do I want to feel? So I love that habits gets you grounded into asking that question and then building habits around how you wanna be living and how you wanna feel in your life. The great thing with them too is habits work well when you take them in incremental steps. You don't have to build Rome in a day, recognizing that it's brick by brick. If they feel like they've failed at New Year's resolutions in the past, habits can be a great spot to start where rather than going, I've been sitting on the couch for the last six months. I wanna be in the gym five days a week starting January 1st. I'm gonna be working out two hours a day. I'm not saying that's impossible, but habits can be a great stepping stone to building long-term change in micro steps. And so if you're thinking, you know, where do I start? You can do things as simple as replacing a cup of coffee with a glass of water every day, Right. cutting back a little bit on your sugar, you're never going to regret the investment that you make by building healthy habits into your life, whether it be financial, emotional, physical, spiritual. And I find that those habits will stack over time if you give them the chance to do that. I love how you just encouraged people to start at a place that, you know, there's a guarantee win. If the goal is to drink a glass of water, it's pretty easy to kind of get back on the bandwagon, so to speak, of like reincorporating that habit. If you find yourself drinking too much coffee or drinking too much alcohol or whatever, you can reorient. I think that that can be a key. In habits it's more about bringing compassion and context to your story if you find yourself a little off of where you wanna be. I was telling Mel, think that sometimes when I'm sitting with people and they're feeling a lot of self-criticism about not doing something that they have intention to do, a habit or a goal, if they bring context to why, you know, my kids had croup or the car broke down and there's so many reasons, there's so much life happening.

And so by bringing in compassion: 5:32

how do I support this habit as a way I wanna feel and be in my life instead of letting it bring me shame and judgment if it's not happening. Understanding your context and how life is just 'life-ing' and how human we all are, can really help bring longevity to habits. I think the thing with habits too is making it so there's a quick win. You start building up a history with yourself where you can see that you're succeeding. I think where we sometimes fall short with New Year's resolutions is we set the bar too high and then we can't sustain it over a long period of time. Whereas if we can pick small bite-sized habits that accumulate and build compound interest over time, that is where we start to see change. And sometimes we can be surprised because we think, I have to make the major, life shift in order for it to happen. But for most people, that's not sustainable. So having those bite-sized steps that we can take, that 10 minutes of movement a day, that extra glass of water, that 30 minutes earlier to bed. Over time, you'll find that as your body or your mental health or your spiritual health, as you begin to respond to the fact that you're feeling better because of these healthy habits, then they begin to compound and you have the capacity to add those next bricks to the wall, so to speak, or the steps to the process and really build significant change. Don't ever underestimate the power of your habits if it's something that's calling to you, especially if in the absence of a stronger bigger vision this year, start with your habits and you will not regret it. At the end of December, 2026, you're never gonna be sad that you drank more water or that you got an extra 30, 60, 90 minutes of sleep at night. You're not gonna be going, bummer, I wish I hadn't taken care of my body. Oh, that's unfortunate. Yeah, what you're sharing is like the importance of celebrating or even being able to mark, my gosh, I have done 10 minutes of exercise every day. Over 365 days. That's a lot of time to be able to notice and celebrate. I think build stacks like what you said, like you start to stack. Those are the building blocks and even building momentum and a sense of pride and accomplishment I think is such a beautiful resource. Mmm. feel like I'm glad I'm living this way. I feel good that I'm reading something every day or that I'm, sitting and face to face with my kid and even five minutes, you're not gonna regret, but you're also gonna bring in a sense of pride and ownership of your life that I think is so important. Yes. Let's move on to number two. Dez, do you want to talk about nervous system regulation and what a 2026 focused around your nervous system could look like? Yeah, how do you think about approaching healing your nervous system or even being present with and supporting your nervous system? So a good question is what is the support that you need? Maybe you're just trying to build awareness of why you're yelling so often at your kids and you lose your cool and you kind of trigger and you snap at them or maybe there's a relational dynamic that happens in your marriage and you are like, why do I keep hitting this pattern? And there's so many reasons and so many ways your nervous system is showing up and is a part of your everyday life. And so the number one step, I would say would be to grow an awareness. What's happening? What are the things that you find yourself doing? Because oftentimes I'll hear people like, I just don't want to yell at my kids so much. How do you even break that down? And so noticing and learning about your nervous system, maybe you need support. This is a good time and being like, I actually need someone to help sit with me to help understand my nervous system. I need to help understand, Where's my window of tolerance? Can you start to understand what it is that your nervous system is needing in the moment to help prevent overload, this over capacity moment? So learning about your window of tolerance, learning about the 4F responses in order to empower you to live more authentically in a way that you want to. I've had clients and men starts like, don't want to trigger on my wife. And that's their number one goal for meeting with me. It's so powerful, but just to grow in the awareness of like, I know this is happening. I don't want this to be happening. So how can I grow in this? And so taking that ownership of what's happening inside, what are the triggers that are making my nervous system respond that way so that you can show up really differently in relationships. I know there's so many ideas here, there's so many ways to support yourself. I think that if you wanted to invest in processing the year with a more regulated nervous system, I would just encourage listeners to take time and maybe do a Google search, some meditation, some breathing exercises, doing things that are really supportive of themselves. And number one thing is you have to grow an awareness and take ownership of what's happening without shame, with so much compassion. And I think that that really helps people move forward and in showing up in an authentic way. Yeah, yeah. Even as simply as recognizing when you say things like triggers, like how does it show up in my body? What is my physical response when I'm triggering into a feeling of overwhelm or I'm feeling frozen around something? You mentioned 4F responses before and what we're meaning by that is your fight response, your flight response, your freeze response or your fawn response, but... learning it's really a lot about even your body awareness and recognizing your physical responses to certain feelings of threat around you, what's going on in my environment and how do I begin to bring my body out of that perpetual sympathetic fight-flight state into a place of that autonomic nervous system or rest and digest spot. I love that idea for an approach. And I think it really could resonate with many people out there who see themselves in that flighty or fighty lifestyle and they just don't want to live in that state anymore. Right, just like I have so much anxiety or this is like taking over my life. I'm always feeling behind. I also feel like there can be a lot of shame, around how our nervous system is impacting the way we show up, especially I think for Christians, because there's a belief that somehow I should be able to spiritually override my nervous system and not have a biological effect, know, it should not be impacting me biologically. I lived like that for decades. So I would just even speak that, there's a lot to learn and to embrace about your humanity and your biology and even the kindness and the compassion to say, I make sense and this matters. And it's an important thing for me to support moving forward. It's something that's continually changing my life as I've taken ownership over my nervous system and healed it. Yeah. Let's talk about our third approach, which is a focus on relationships. Mm-hmm. Perhaps there is a tug on your heart for this year of maybe restoring some relationships, strengthening some relationships. Maybe there's some healing that you're wanting to see in certain relationships, or maybe it's even a season in your life where you're recognizing a pull to creating new community and new connections because perhaps your personal season of life has changed and you're recognizing a desire that, maybe what worked six months, 12 months, two years ago, isn't actually gonna cut it for me moving forward. I love that the overarching theme in this whole conversation today is really an invitation into self-awareness, recognizing what season am I in and how do I move forward, feel supported and step into next year with grace and with an acknowledgement of this is actually what my heart is calling to and this is what I sense is ahead for me. What would you speak to about relationships, Dez? Yeah, I think that right away, to think that I want to revamp every relationship I have in my life in 2026 is probably not possible. I don't have the capacity for that. So I also want to tell everyone it's okay that you're not able to, but by thinking about how do I want to feel in this relationship, whether it's the relationship with my kids or my husband or my friends. And as a homeschool mom, when I was in that season, I felt like I spent so much time with my kids that when they went back to school, I felt like I adult friendships. I just had that deep need. And so that oriented a lot of what I was investing in the time I was putting in. And I find that I'm currently in the season just with my kids moving out that I'm reorienting towards home, that these are the relationships I'm giving my most time to. This is what I'm investing in. These are the connections that matter. I'm trying to do the work. I'm trying to take the ownership. I'm trying to clean up things. And so just even letting yourself notice that it's okay to have two or three that you're pouring into, maybe one, it's okay. But it could be the year that you want to really go for it with your marriage. We're going to go to counseling, we're going to get support that we've talked about and we've said we've always needed. Yeah, I think that there can be a lot of support that you can get when it comes to relational focused goals. How about you, Mel? Well, something that I was thinking of is an exercise that I love to do with clients and I've even done it myself is making a list of where I have support or where I have solid relationships, do I have some close friendships? If there were a crisis in my life, who are the people I could call on? Who are the people who are mentoring me in this season or speaking into my life? That may be from afar. It might be through books or podcasts or things like that. But other times you may find that your heart is hungering for somebody to just really pour into your life. Is there somebody who's highlighted to you who maybe you just need to take that brave step and reach out? Are you in a season where you're wanting to take from your wisdom and your life experience and pour into others and taking stock, taking inventory of... Where do I have strong relationships? Where do I have a need or desire that I would love to have met? And where are there places for me to pour out into others? I believe healthy people have ways that they're being poured into and they have ways that they're giving, they're serving and they're pouring out as well. And so even looking at as simply as where are the male and female relationships in my life? Do I have strong female friendships? Do I have strong male friendships? Do I have both genders influencing or impacting my life in some way? think that there is value in both and recognizing, and it can extend, sometimes I've done this even looking at my kids, who are the people that I would like to have speaking into my children's life? Who are the people that I want to pull around us as a family community in this season? And so it can be, Yes, I want to focus on my marriage or I really want to set up those dates with my kids and have that one on one time with them. But then also again, you collectively as a couple, are there other couples you want to do life with? That's something my husband and I really started going after last year. We started reaching out to other couples that we wanted to get to know better and be like, hey, let's go out for a meal or coffee. We just love to get to know you and, this is something that I want to say as an aside in this day and age, people are so busy. We had to be intentional about connecting with other people. And it would have been easy just to go, we're too busy. They're too busy. Sometimes we had to book out six weeks, two months in advance to do something with somebody. But I think that's the nature of the world we live in right now. If you want to go after something like relationships you have to choose to be intentional. So just paying attention and recognizing that in the day and age of the busyness and the go, go, go of society, actually choosing to make it a priority and recognizing that it will take effort is just par for the course. Yeah, I'm so glad you shared that because I think that one of the benefits of thinking about relationships is that it's not as easy to have a community as I think it used to be. This is my perception of it. There would be natural communities and maybe you used to have a group at church and maybe you're going to church differently or not the same church or who knows what. There are so many reasons why community can shift and change. If you can take inventory of what it is that your system needs, maybe it needs 50 things, but if you could start with one or two, this is a great way, these are great questions. And know your capacity. That's the last thing I would say. And you touched on that too, Dez. This might not be a season for 20 friends. It might be a season for two. Mm-hmm, yeah. I think when I've made certain things a priority, it has felt really important when I was doing the thing that I was like, no, this group or this person, this matters. I'm going to spend the money. I'm going to take the time off of work. Like you said, with the habits, you have a sense of I'm proud that I'm living this way because this matters to me. I remember hearing somebody say once, relationships are the thing that you take with you into eternity. You're not gonna take your bank account. You're not gonna take your house. You will take relationships. There's an investment that we make that I think pays dividends far beyond what we recognize. So again, a great choice to focus on if that's something that's stirring your heart. So good. Ooh, the next one, this is fun. The next approach is dreams and desires. What do you wanna say about dreams and desires? This might be a year that you wanna focus on some dreams. As a heart heals, I think naturally it will begin to want to desire and to dream and to sort of live. So you go from surviving to thriving and to living and expanding. And so this could be your year where you're ready to dream big, you're ready for your heart to have a voice. And there's such a good quote that you shared about what is desire? The quote is, desire is possibility seeking expression. I have always held to that because it resonates so deeply. There are times and seasons for dreams and desires to come to the surface. Desire fulfilled is a tree of life, so therefore desire begins as a seed. This might be your year where those seeds are pressing up against the soil of your heart and they're wanting to germinate and they're wanting to spring forth. And as Dez touched on, I believe that dreaming is the sign of a healthy heart. When we're in survival mode, it is very difficult to dream because all of our energy is simply going into getting through the day, getting through the next week, making the next payment. Those survival mode seasons take tremendous amounts of energy. And so if you're in a season where you do feel like it is a season to dream and to go after some of those desires. Yes, go for it. Your heart is speaking, it's tugging on you, it's saying, it's time. What do you wanna add to that? Where do you start to dream? And I think what I'm hearing you say as well is like, how can you listen? How can you hear the voice of your heart saying, I want to write the book. I want to paint. I want to sing. I want to bake bread. What is it that you want to do? Do you want to adopt a kid? What is it that your heart's saying? Taking the time to sit with your heart, to name it, is a very important first step. And secondly, I would listen to the red flags of like, but I'm afraid of, and listen to what it's afraid of. Listen to what's holding you back. Maybe you know exactly what you're afraid of, because it's been holding you back for years. But by noticing what it's afraid of, it gives you information that's so vital. It tells you how to support yourself. And that is one of the themes of obviously this episode, but of our approach and posture to so many things is that needing support is not problem. It's not bad. Everyone needs support. So when your heart says what it's afraid of or some fears it might be hitting up against when it... wants to dream, when it wants to reach up, when it wants to express, when you want to be seen and heard and known, notice that so that you can get the support that you need. Again, self-awareness, but recognizing that if there's something tugging at your heart and there's that little voice going, it's time, it's time for me to build the thing, write the book, start the business. Maybe it's the time for you to start dating again. Maybe it's the time for you to get out there and you have a desire to be married and to have a family. And this is the year for you to push past those fears and insecurities and go, I'm gonna make a go for this. It's actually time for me to have these desires of your heart. I just wanna take a moment and say that those desires are valid. have a deep conviction that they're a way that God communicates even to what our blueprint or our purposes is for our life. The things that you long to do are the things that you are created for because not everybody longs to do the same thing. Nope. And so if those are tugging on your heart in this season, Dez and I just say, go for it, go for it. Take the next right step and then the next one after that and the next one after that. And you do not need to know the how, you just need to know what it is that you want and be willing to take that next brave step. Yeah, and I think that this is a place where you can use a lot of support. I know I have needed so much support in the areas of letting my dreams start to of bust through the soil and needs a lot of nurturing and needs a lot of care. What support do you need? What community do you need to have? Do you need to start getting business coaching or? What is it that you can do? I think oftentimes when I sit with clients, one of the things their heart is like, I have this dream, but I'm afraid I won't know how to do it. I don't have all the answers. And I think that stops people right away. I just wanna encourage you, you don't have to know everything. There's probably 15 people that can help you. And so... m bringing more people in, bringing the idea that you're allowed to get help, you're allowed to ask the questions, you're allowed to have the time to figure this out em is also a way that I think that helps sustain the momentum of dreaming. Yep. And one last thing, surround yourself with can-do people or surround yourself with people who are even a little bit further down the path than you, because I don't know people who are further down the path than me who are trying to knock me back. The only times I think you run into issues is when you're around people who are afraid to go after their dreams and so your bravery threatens them. Yes. people who are in their own boxes and they don't understand why you have the dream you do or why you're doing the thing you're doing. So choosing your companions wisely and your influences wisely is really important because if you can be around positive people, people who have made some decisions themselves who are walking their talk, that can be a great source of support. Even if you say, you might say, I don't have tons of money to buy this or that or this other support thing. Pick the podcasts, the books, or the resources that are going to fuel your belief, not only in yourself, but your trust that it will all work out and that God is good and he is for you at all times. Mm-mm. Yeah. And Mel and I would like to say we are cheering you on. We love your dreams. The bigger the better. Go for it. So moving on to our next focus of how to process or move towards the new year is to have a spiritual intention which I think maybe it's more common than some of the other that we've talked about. But what do you think about when you hear intentionally focusing on your spiritual health? What are some recommendations that you have? I love this focus. I think that cultivating a sense of sacredness, of connection to God, connection to the divine in your life, you're never gonna regret that either. And that can sometimes look like having a word of the year. Maybe it's a truth or a value or a theme. I know there's been times where it's felt like, because of my relationship with God, I'll feel God inviting me into something of, let's focus on this this year. And so it could be very spiritual in the sense of maybe it's cultivating spiritual practices, spiritual rhythms. It might be certain types of books or sacred texts that you're wanting to read. uh What would you add to that? Yeah, I love that. I think I would describe how I would approach my spiritual intention is very much from that relationship based of like, what do I feel Papa inviting me into? And sometimes there's been years where I felt like he's inviting me to teach me how to be a daughter or really focusing on my attachment to God, which means I would just spend time imagining Him just smiling at me and feeling those things towards me. So I was just healing my attachment to God. And that was my whole focus for the year. And I could feel that invitation often, and I could see that theme. I think there have been years where I would just read the Psalms. I think I did that at least one year, maybe two. lean into what it is that you're invited to and wholeheartedly connect there. That could be a really good way that you feel that God's helping you understand what's happening in your life and processing the things that are coming up in your mental health or your relationships. For me, think because we have such a strong grounding in our spiritual lives, it's sort of the whole path it is the solid ground of everything else that we're sharing about. But, a way to process the year as a grounding force. yeah, yeah. I had a year or a number of years ago where I really felt invited to begin incorporating a Sabbath into my week again. Set aside a day of the week that is for rest, reflection, devotion, connection with family, a time to take a break from work and the hustle and bustle of daily life. It has been a significant decision. And interestingly enough, one that I've returned to because when I was a child, my parents were actually part of the Seventh-day Adventist Church in my very, very early years. We ended up leaving the church when I was about six or so, but Seventh-day Adventists have a Sabbath practice. And so I remember even as a child on Fridays cleaning the house and having a family meal together on Friday nights and... just the structure and the rhythm that it created that I remembered when I felt the invitation to return to it as an adult, it actually brought up a lot of really positive memories felt as though I was reconnecting to something that had been a part of my childhood that I was just reawakening. And so it could be something like that, a Sabbath practice or for some people they may take communion every day or they may practice a certain form of contemplative prayer. So there's all sorts of simple things that I think when there's life on it for you, it's not just doing a ritual for the sake of doing a ritual, but when there's life on it and there's an invitation, if you're feeling that tug on your heart to lean into your spiritual practice this year, yes, yes and amen, go for it. A guiding question you can think about asking yourself is, how do I want to be or feel with God this year? And yeah, and so I think, you know, even with what you shared, what's there life on? If you approach looking at all these different options and words and disciplines, how do I want to feel? How do I want to be with Him? One last thought I had too was perhaps some of it looks like the community you connect with. Are there some like-minded, like-hearted people out there to help fuel your spiritual growth and development? What might it look like to create your own small group or maybe join a new small group? Is there a new faith community that you're feeling drawn into? Because I know many of my friends have gone through phases where they've been active church participants and then for various reasons, taken a step back from organized gatherings. And so this might even be a season to ask yourself, am I feeling invited back into community with people around a faith-based perspective? Love that. Yeah, there's a lot of options on how that could look. Totally. Okay, approach number six, and this is a good one, this is going after your health. And you could look at both your physical health, your mental health, either or both. I believe they are inextricably linked. I don't think you can heal one without automatically improving the other because I know when I'm physically healthy, when I'm physically fit, it has a huge impact on my mental health and vice versa. Absolutely. I love this because we could talk to so many people coming at this from different directions. Some people are gung ho, I'm going to start exercising or they have a weight goal or they'll, they'll approach it in that way. Other people are coming off of chronic issues and maybe this is the year to support and really allow your body to heal. I think of it like this way. If you deny your body, your emotions and your soul will suffer and vice versa. I can't just deny my emotions or deny my soul. My body will suffer; it's interconnected. So how do you approach this year based on how your body's coming into it? You know, and I think that honoring your needs is a huge, huge start. Like you said, it starts with awareness. Maybe my body does need to be challenged. Maybe my body needs to be cared for by like moving and growing. Maybe my body needs care by booking that doctor's appointment and not feeling so afraid or trying to ignore that my body's giving me signs for the last six months that something's going on. So how is it that you want to approach your body? What is it that it's asking? Yeah, I think that's a great question. What is my body asking of me this year? Does it need to be pushed a little bit harder? Is it a time to heal or is it a time to really grow my strength? Is it the year to run that marathon that I've always wanted to? Is it a year to see what I'm capable of? Whoa, yeah. There's something about growing and when I've done things that I didn't think I was capable of physically, it has added a tremendous boost to my confidence. Doing hard things. It's actually not bad to do hard things, but equally important is maybe you're used to doing hard things and you've railroaded over your body your whole life and it's time to go get the blood work. It's time to go deal with that nagging pain, that nagging back pain, you actually need to go check that out. And so back to the question, what is your body asking of you? And then equally important, your mental health. What is your mental health asking of you this year? Is this the year where... you go get into that trauma counseling that you need and you talk about some of those things that you've never shared with another person before? Maybe it's time to get those skeletons out of the closet once and for all so that you can heal and by healing shift the generational trajectory of your family line. Maybe it's time, maybe the addiction stops with you. Maybe the cycle stops with you. Is this the year that you're feeling that tug of, I'm not gonna kick the therapy can down the road another year – it's actually time for me to heal. Yeah, and I think that if shame has in any way blocked you from supporting yourself physically and mentally, I've been there and done that. So that's why I feel like, yes, it could be that that's what's happening. We just want you to hear that you are worth the support and there is no shame. It is so human for us to need physical care and mental care just as much as it is for us to have the physical hunger that's just, it's a biological need. It's just something that makes you really human. It makes you just like us. And so really want you to lean in, like maybe it's time to let go of shame story and just even lean into what Mel and I are telling you to hear our hearts for you that however varying your physical needs might be coming into 2026, you're worth it. Yeah. you're absolutely worth it. And everybody feels scared. Fear of the unknown is a human experience. So feeling scared doesn't mean that you're on the wrong path. So notice the invitation, where might I be able to take even a baby step forward and trust that the next step will evolve and the next step will evolve. Because I know for some people, if you've been sitting on something, whether it be emotional trauma or even physical pain or suffering for long periods of time, sometimes we can get into the belief pattern of this is how it's always going to be. And so let today be that gentle reminder of guess what? See us tapping you on the shoulder and going, guess what? No, it doesn't. It doesn't have to be this way. Maybe this is the year for your breakthrough. What do you say? Why not now? I love that. And I love the kindness of what is it that your body's asking for and then how can you support it without judgment? Mm-hmm. Totally. Okay, we're to number seven, A way to approach 2026 would be with financial goals and intentions. Mmm, let's talk money. I know there's a lot of songs that are just in my mind so I'm trying not to just start singing. Okay so what would you say is the number one thing that you would love our listeners to think about if they were to choose like this is a dynamic that they want to look at in their life for 2026? What would you say would be one of the first things? I'd say one of the first questions to ask yourself is how do I want to relate to money this year? Our brains can naturally go to the, how much money do I want to make? And that's a valid question. I'm actually very pro being aware of your financial goals. But I think taking a step back and going, what do want my relationship with money to feel like? How do I want to feel when I open up my bank account and look at the balance? How do I want to feel when I'm paying bills? How do I wanna feel when an unexpected expense crosses my path? I am a diehard believer that healing your relationship with money will absolutely spill into every other relationship of your life. I believe that our relationship with money is a mirror to the way we relate to other things in life. Maybe you recognize that you have limiting beliefs, but you can't quite figure out what they are. You just have this sense that you keep bumping up against internal belief systems. Going after your money beliefs is an absolute surefire way to start exposing where the limiting beliefs are in your mind. Where do I have lack based beliefs that I don't recognize? They're all subconscious. That's why they impact everything. Because rarely do we have a conscious awareness of how they're driving so many parts of our life. But I love relationship with money. And one of the first places that I went after when I thought about this, so this is just a practical idea if you're feeling, some life on this for you this year is write down everything you believe about money. Just stream of consciousness. Like I believe I'm good at making money. Maybe that's true. I believe money is scary. I believe money's hard to get. When I did this, I had such contrasting beliefs about money. I was like, no wonder I'm so stuck. I want it and I hate it. it's terrible, it's wonderful. It can hurt me, but I need it. It's like all this such a weird relationship. And so even by bringing awareness is the number one, just being like, yeah, this is definitely going on and this is why it's going on. I have a very contrasting belief and this is sort of hitting the limit by healing that thing, by even bringing some congruency of noticing, I really believe this? Was this my parents belief about money that I'm taking with me? Do I actually believe this about my life? Is this my husband's belief? I know I've had a ton of beliefs about money that were not mine. So that could be a really great first step and even noticing maybe where they originated. Yes. And it could be a year where it's a practical year for you. Maybe you've never had a budget before. Maybe you didn't have the income in such a way that your income was consistent enough. I've worked with a lot of people who have a ministry background or a missions background. And so they were reliant on donations from other people. Their income was so unpredictable. It was very difficult to make regular budgets because it was so dependent on what was gonna come in this month. They didn't have a regular income. And so setting up a budget might be exactly what you need right now, regardless of whether you had a ministry background or not, maybe you've just never had a budget before. Maybe stewardship is the thing that's front and center for you right now. And this is back to self-awareness again. You might be somebody who's never had a budget and there's the invitation to leaning into a budget. Alternatively, you might be somebody who has balanced your budget to the penny. And this is a season where you're being invited to take some leaps of faith, where you're being invited to expand beyond what you can see, because there is both the spiritual dynamics to our relationship with money, but there's also the practical. We need healthy relationships on both sides. We need healthy practices, habits on both sides to have that holistically healthy relationship with money. Something else that Dez and I chatted about was spending in alignment with your values. Do you want to speak to that? Well, it would be a huge area of growth for the year of just thinking about what is it that I value? Even as I know myself and I know what I'm becoming or what the invitation for my year is, how do I respond to that? What am I prioritizing inside of who I'm becoming, how I want to feel, how do I want to feel with my money? What's the value? And maybe it's that, maybe you're recognizing there's that invitation into my health this year. That means I'm gonna have to put some resources behind it. I do need to pay for the gym membership, the nutritionist, the therapist this year. I need to do some redirection of my finances in order to back up what I say is important to Yes, again, if I value meeting with my mental health professional once a week, twice a month, whatever that consistency is, then I feel like I'm in alignment and congruency with the things that matter to me. Look my spending is proving so, Mm-hmm. it's a very powerful, supportive orienting tool, I think. for underrate. Yes. It's lining your intention and your actions up with one another. And there's this flow that happens when what you say is important is where you put your time, your effort, and your resources. Yeah, it's the congruency. It's like the truth of life. it is. You're walking your talk and you're living your values. And I think, even as a way to kind of wrap up what we've shared with these approaches, that's in a nutshell, really the invitation. What are the intentions that you have for this year? Where are the invitations that you're sensing in the tug, the pull? Maybe we've shared something and it sparked another thought. And then as you set those intentions, what are the supportive practices – the systems that you need in order to flow along those goals and those intentions that you're setting for yourself? Yeah, and I think just a last thought is maybe some of you are ready for expansion. Maybe you've done the relationship stuff and you've set the budget and you have goals and you're orienting towards values. And now you're like, I'm ready for growth. I'm ready to bust the ceiling of what I thought financially I could produce or have capacity of. I think as women, we have such a dynamic. I think men do too, but I think especially because we're both women. We've been stay at home moms and then we've gone back into the work field. What is it like for us to notice those limiting beliefs inside of ourselves when we go back into the workforce? For me, one of the ways that helped me expand into bigger beliefs about myself is that I had a goal to help pay for my son's college. And then similarly to what you said, knew that number and I tried to work backwards. What is it that I need to do? think that the benefit of an expansive thing is that you have to start thinking to meet that expansive belief and that goal. And so, yes, yes, you have to come up with expansive thoughts and beliefs and pathways, and you have to start thinking of ways to create that money to pay that college bill every month or however you're paying it. I think that expanding will naturally help you notice your limits, your ceilings of belief. And then you just keep inching them up. This has been such an interactive place for my heart, for my heart to feel supported when I transform a belief about what I'm worthy of. Yes. I can, my capacity, what my capability is, my lovability, even the beauty of just the pure intention of like paying for my son's school. This has transformed my life by engaging in this type of goal with a holistic, wholehearted, nuanced, way of doing it. Yeah. So I hear you saying, going after money, you're going to expose your limiting beliefs. You're also going to be invited into possibility thinking, strategic thinking, and expansive growth, really. And so it touches so many areas and really helps you grow. of these, going after any of these things, you're going to grow as an individual by the end of the year. Things are going to look different. Things will look different, even if you just chose one and you asked yourself one question and you reoriented towards that over and over again. We hope that this episode has been helpful because I've done one or a combination of these at times. It's like, how do I wanna feel? How do I wanna be? How do I support myself in the year as being a compassionate way that I wanna show up in my life and believe that I'm living, yeah, in this life. So there you have it friends, some approaches for the new year, pick and choose, take what you like, combine a few. And yes, here's to a great new year. And before we sign off, we just wanted to do one fun thing together. We're just gonna ask each other about some of our favorite things, our highlights from the year, as a fun get to know you, but also hear about each other's highlights from 2025. From 2025, Mel, this is fun, because then we get to remember that these were our highlights and our fun little. Totally. Babe, I'm going to start this off by asking you, Melissa, sweetie, 2025, what was your favorite book that you read? I would say The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer. It was a book I'd had sitting on my shelf for many years and actually sat down and read the whole thing. It was so good. If you're into the kind of manifesting slightly woo-woo laws of the spiritual world, very good book, loved it. Mm-hmm, yep. Okay, what is your favorite movie of 2025? I would say F1. Gotta love Brad Pitt. I actually couldn't remember what my favorite movie was, so I looked up the top movies and as soon as I saw it, I was like, yeah, F1 was a surprise. I didn't know that I would like it as much as I did and I really enjoyed it. Such a good movie. Mm-hmm, yeah. was your favorite trip of 2025? Okay, I've traveled a lot this year. I would say, probably my time with my cousins in New Zealand at the beginning of the year was number one, because we had not all been together in decades. And so us all being together was very, very special. And then followed closely by my time with you and some of our other close friends in Florida. In the middle of the summer, we met up and that was so much fun. And then third, I know you asked me my top, but they were kind of close. Third would be the Camino trip to Portugal and Spain. It so fun, but yeah, amazing. Mm-hmm. I know. All right, babe. What's your favorite TV show of this year? Daisy Jones and the Six. That show was so, I did not expend to binge watch that show. I was like scrolling through one day and started watching it. It was so good. I went and watched certain episodes multiple times. It took me by surprise how good it was. I come from a musical background, so I appreciated the music anyway. But just, yeah, thought it was great acting, great storyline, really good. Oh yeah. it was good. It was so good. Okay. What was the wildest goal that you attained in 2025? Launching the podcast. Yeah, I would have to say launching the podcast. That was a work in progress. We took months to prep and now it's our 17th episode. We've got more in the works. I feel so proud of us. I feel like it's... took us time and I feel a lot of hope and excitement for the future. So this feels like something that was in my heart for a long time and taking action on it and getting it out there has felt very satisfying. So satisfying. And I do similarly have a lot of hope for the future. So, all right. What was your favorite, I finally did it moment of 2025. Being able to pay for things out of my own money that I'd made in my business, especially airfares and things like that, that weren't just basic day-to-day, but slightly pricier items, it felt very satisfying. And we would both relate to this because we've both been stay-at-home moms in certain seasons of our life where we weren't necessarily making our own money. So being in a season where I'm working for myself and making enough money to pay for bigger ticket items has felt like, yes, go me, it feels good. Yeah. rewarding. Oh, so right there with you. Okay. Last question. What was your best meal of 2025? a lot again. I'm probably thinking of this one because it happened very recently, but my son's birthday dinner a couple of probably two or three weeks back. was just the food was delicious. It was a really great family. It just a family meal, but a good food, good restaurant and just a great time together. It felt very memorable to me. And it was interesting because when we were looking over the questions beforehand, I didn't know that that was the one that would come up in my heart. That one just felt like it touched my mama heart on a special level. Yes. Thank me ask you now, Dez. Dez, what was your favorite book of 2025? Okay, this was hard for me to choose, but this is the book that I talk to people about the most. So I'm gonna go with it. It's called The Hidden Life of Trees. And it's all the nerdy science of trees and how they communicate my gosh, it's changed my life. Changed my life. Every day I go for a walk in trees and I'm just like, I feel like I know more about them and it just feels very connective. So that's. good. Definitely to add to my to read list. What is a song that instantly takes you somewhere else? Okay, well had two and I'm gonna choose the more PG answer. But I love to listen to music in Portuguese. And so there's this Brazilian jazz, well Stan Getz and this Brazilian jazz artist and they collaborate and they sing The Boy from Ipanema in Portuguese. And it's just one of my favorite songs. It's one of my favorite albums. I tend to put it on, but when I was in Porto with my husband, we had just arrived in from Lisbon, and we were rushing to try to find a place to eat before they shut down for lunch. And I was starving because it was 4 p.m. and I was like, was, I was in like hangry mode. So we slipped in, there was hardly anybody in this piazza kind of area. And we slipped in and we ordered our food. We're just ordering and drinking our wine, just kind of settling in that we made it. And lo and behold, they start singing The Boy from Ipanema in Portuguese. And I will never forget that moment. The door was open and it was so beautiful. And so that was a song that still transports me to that moment. beautiful. I love that. What is your best meal of 2025? Okay, so I've had several, for me it was our celebratory dinner after we completed the Camino de Santiago and we were in Santiago de la Compostela and we all got dressed up and we had had happy hours together and then we walked to this small little restaurant and we were in the back and it was lit with candles and it was the ambiance and we had a seven course tasting menu. It so good. And I had never, I don't think I'd just ever eaten in that style, seven courses. And it was a gift and it was fun. And we were laughing and the server and just delicacies. It was just the service and the love and the tears and the beauty and the honor. And was it was a really, really good meal. Yeah. It was great. Definitely agree. What hobby did you really enjoy in 2025? Well, this year I pushed it really hard in my business. And so I felt like I really needed something that did not produce anything. Like it was just for like me and the enjoyment of my life. And so I grew a lot of flowers and I cut them and made wild bouquet arrangements for myself daily. Every other day I would, I'd always tend to my flowers, but I just made bouquets for the fun of it. I love it. It was so fun. so much. That speaks my language right there. Oh, Beauty, surrounding yourself with beauty. that. And I liked not having pressure to do it to make someone happy it was only for my own pleasure. So it was always about making it, making me happy. And I loved, loved that. Whoa, that's very beautiful. What's one feel good moment that surprised you? Okay, this is a similar thing where I was like, I didn't think I would think it this way, but when I was going back through my camera roll, I remembered a moment from my birthday and my kids and their significant people were there and we had done some fun stuff together that I had asked and they sang happy birthday. And honestly, it was the moment they cut my cake for me and served me. I was like, Am I living in the realm where my kids serve me my birthday cake now? Like, I was like, have I arrived somewhere? It was so significant to me. They're like, we're going to cut it and we'll bring it to you. And I thought, my goodness. So that was just a beautiful moment that I just didn't ever expect feeling that way. And I didn't know when it was ever going to happen, if ever. So it was a gift. That's special. What was your favorite, I finally did it moment? Well, I would probably say the journal that I wrote this journal. I started in 2024 writing the journal. And so when I was able to finish it before the trip in September, it felt like, I did it. Like I actually completed something that I really wanted to do and a lot of life happened and there was a lot of things going on, but I kept sticking with it. And it felt really good to my heart that I had done it. Yes, yes, so good. Okay, finally, last question. What was your favorite spend under $100 this last year? Well, this is funny because in January, I bought myself a Formula One membership so I could watch all the races live. My husband's like, who bought Formula One? But I was like, me. He's like, you surprise me. I love watching Formula One. My kids are also into it, but I will watch it every Sunday that they have a race and it's a gift to me. Even if it's a day or two later, I just turn it on. So I'm a huge Formula One fan. I've learned some things about you. Were you a Formula One fan always, or is this just a recent development? Probably in the last five or six years, during COVID, I started watching it. My husband's like, what is happening? My wife's sitting on the couch drinking a beer, watching Formula 1. You have to come to Austin because we have formula one here. I I know the Austin race is the most expensive race. I've looked into it. It's a bougie sport. It's like horse riding on steroids. Equestrian. like horsepower to the next degree. Okay guys. So there you have it. Our best practices for going forward into 2026 plus some fun little tidbits. Dez, I learned a couple of things about you. I did not know that. We both liked Formula One too when you said that was your favorite movie. was like, my God, this makes so much sense. But yeah, I just want to say it's been so much fun spending this year with you. Thank you for being here. We wish you a very happy, a very blessed new year and we'll see you guys in 2026. 2026 baby, happy new year. Bye.