#19 – More Mantras We Live By

In part two of our conversation about our go-to mantras, we delve into the transformative power of mantras centered around abundance and resilience. We explore how beliefs shape our experiences, emphasizing that life is abundant and that pain is a natural part of the human experience, but suffering is a choice. The discussion highlights the importance of reframing narratives, embracing generosity, and recognizing that life is happening for us, not to us. Through personal anecdotes and insights, our aim is to inspire listeners to adopt empowering beliefs that can lead to personal growth and emotional resilience.

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Transcript

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Hey, welcome to the podcast today. We are talking about a fun topic. It's a part two. If you tuned in last week, we talked about some of our favorite sayings around trust, surrender, and our identity, things that when we remind ourselves of these declarations or truths, it helps ground us in reality, in safety, and in empowering us to make powerful, positive decisions. And so there were so many that we wanted to talk about that we thought we will not overload our listener. And instead of trying to fit about 15 into one session, we thought, we'll break it up for you. So this week we are talking about a couple of my favorite topics. The first one is abundance. Yay. Yes. And so some of our favorite sayings around abundance that we use to anchor us into the truth of there's more than enough to go around and to help break us out of scarcity mindsets. I can't wait to get into those. And then we're also going to talk about some mantras for resilience and things that we can remind ourselves of when things are challenging. I think whenever we walk through challenging life seasons or difficult experiences, having some timeless truths or principles to hold on to can prove to be a real anchor. As you're talking about that, I just had another one jump in my mind, but I think that this is like um Mary Poppins' purse. Once you start getting in there, you're like, my God, there's more and there's more, but I'm so excited to kick us off here with talking about abundance, because for one, I know how powerful and how impactful this has impacted your life to tap into abundance and then how empowering it is for you to work with other people in their realm of belief of how much they can go for it. How much is too much? Where is that limit of abundance? So I would love for you to kick us off. I feel truly honored and excited and so should all the listeners to hear from you. Like what are some of the, mantra that you live by. Mmm. Mmm. There's more where that came from is a core mantra slash belief. I actually have it on a bangle with the words stamped in that says there's more where it came from. And I wear it and it reminds me of the reality that we live in a universe of abundance. We live in an abundant kingdom with an abundant God. I think one of the underlying lies of scarcity mindedness is that there is not enough good to go around. And it breeds all sorts of competitive and even unethical behavior from a place of, if I don't get mine, I might not get it. I have to get mine at any cost or I have to stop you from getting something. Cause if you get it, might mean that I don't. Leaning into there's more where that came from has been an absolute game changer for me. It has unlocked multiple things in my life. The first thing that comes to mind is it's empowered a mindset of generosity that allows me to give what I have knowing that there will be more available. So true. If I have an idea or I have a thought or I have something creative that comes to mind, I feel like I can act on it. I don't have to hoard anything. I don't have to hold back in fear of, if I give this away, that might leave me empty handed. It's actually, if I give this away, if I give away my knowledge, if I give away my understanding, I cannot be left without because there's always more where that came from. To take it even a step further, I believe that the more I give, the more it actually opens me up to receiving. I can't run out and cultivating generosity in my life has been a huge core value of mine. I love giving things away, and I'm talking in the concept of knowledge or whatever, but it could be gifts, it could be whatever. But being able to be generous is, really important to me I think when we get to flow in generosity, there's something so satisfying about being able to be a giver. The Bible says it's more blessed to give than receive. think you can be very blessed in receiving, but there's also something about being able to give and even being able to... be in a position to give that feels deeply satisfying to my soul. Being grounded in that there's more where that came from has helped me personally. I have a no gatekeeping policy on anything I know. Whatever I know, I will give away for free. Whether it be a revelation, whether it be a tool, I mean, these mantras, I'm going, how do I empower you? How do I empower others to step into the same level of beliefs around abundance and even further beliefs of abundance? If we don't buy into the lie that there's not enough good to go around, which on the flip side is there's more than enough good to go around, then I can afford to be generous and I can afford to go for the things I want without creating unnecessary competition between me and others. It empowers me to celebrate other people's successes without feeling like it's taking away from me. Has generally lifted my eyes off of needing to worry about what my neighbor is doing in an unhealthy, overly concerned, competitive way and allowed me to focus on the path that's in front of me, the race that's in front of me and to go after those things knowing that if there's enough for me and there's more where that came from, then there's enough for you and there's enough for others and I can encourage other people on that path as well. What would you add to that, Dez? I think you definitely have some gems to add to this conversation. Thanks, hon – well, first, when you were sharing this gem of a mantra, you have described so many different types of understanding of what abundance is. It's time. It's friendship. It's money. It's uh the ability to be generous. To me, was like, I was reframing something. I was like, that is abundance when I get to be generous. I just wanted to reflect that as being a highlighted point in the belief there's more where that came from. But I had a question for you. It was like, tell me what it feels like for you when you give something, offer a gift, share from your wisdom and you access this belief, there's more where that came from. What does that feel like inside of you? Oh, it's so good. I feel a mixture of multiple things. One is I feel connected to something externally outside of myself. So it feels like I'm tapping into this unlimited reservoir of creativity, inspiration, life. And I can feel that around me, but what it feels like in me is it feels like a rush through my system of a slightly exhilarating Yeah. delight of, this is gonna sound maybe woo woo to some people and I don't mean it in a weird way, but it's like I get to be a conduit or a channel of heaven to earth because I am so convinced in the abundance of heaven and I am so convinced that there's more where that came from allows us to create. It opens up to a creative power I didn't say this exactly before. we live in a competitive world where we see everything as a zero sum game. And it's like, if you get a piece of the pie, that means a smaller piece of the pie for me. That is a zero sum game perspective on life. And it feeds into there's not enough good to go around because if somebody wins, means somebody else has to lose. But what if we all get to win? What if there's more where that came from means that you can eat your fill and you can take some leftovers home, and I can eat my fill and take some leftovers home and so can everybody else at the table. There's more where that came from. There's more than enough to go around. That has been such an empowering, you know what it does is it not only feels like a rush, but it opens my mind up to possibilities that I wouldn't otherwise see, Yes, yes, Mel. because I start to look for, there's more where that came from because here's real confession, like real truth. Sometimes when I've had ideas or things in the past, I'm like, I wanna share that with somebody. And then I've had this thought come up, well, if I share that idea, what if somebody steals my idea? Or what if I don't get it? This is something, like, what if I don't get another idea? Like, what if that's my one good idea that I share and then I share it then there's nothing left? What if I don't get another good idea? I gave my best away now. Recognizing that and then going, no, if I believe that there's more where that came from, what that means is I can give my best every time. I don't have to save the best for another day. I don't have to, again, back to the gatekeeping thing. I don't have to withhold anything because as I give, It's like the next download or the next revelation or the next insight that I mean, I'm using revelation a lot and that kind of terminology, because for me, some of my most exciting ways that I view there's more where that came from is in the realm of creativity, is in the realm of inspired ideas that brings me a lot of life. And so the ideation aspect of things is something that I love dreaming and brainstorming and sitting with people about. And that is where when I can tap into that, feels like a rush. It's like this exhilarating rush of energy and of life through my system. And it feels quite addictive to be frank. It's like, I want to feel that again. I want to do that again. How do I give it away? It flies in the face of what so much of society believes, which is I've got to look after me and mine and the rest of you are on your own or it's this dog eat dog. I got to get my piece and you know, good luck, but I'm not going to help you. It actually allows me to extend a hand to others. It inspires me to extend a hand to others. And I open myself up to the synergistic elements of creativity with other people too, because if I'm coming in with an open heart and an open mind and open spirit and you're coming in with that, it's like we combine our creativity to begin creating things that neither one of us could have conceived of on our own. I mean, Exactly. One puts a thousand to flight, but two put 10,000 to flight. What is the synergistic one plus one equals a hundred that I wouldn't have gotten had I just hoarded it all for myself? I could spend an entire podcast talking about this one truth, because if you tap into this, you are truly going to be limitless. So you asked me the question and I still want to hear from you, Dez. You're unpacking. That's, it's, It sort of feels like heaven because it's not tit for tat. It's, like love your neighbor. You know I mean? Forgive your enemy. It's just like blows your mind open. You're in a different em system, different operating system. Oh, So good. Well, I loved asking this question because I think everyone could feel your energy and it was evident because even in your language of tapping in to something beyond you and greater than you, I think that idea creates so much safety because it's not like I am the sole creator of ideas and the way to figure out my life or the business or how to help someone or you know what mean? It really, it takes the pressure off of you and I think that you've done this so much that you're like, I can go right to this abundant bank account, this place where there is no such thing as bankruptcy. Ugh, there's no overdraft. There's no overdraft in heaven. Actually, the more you take, the more there is. And it creates this like mathematics of heaven or this abundance mindset of multiplication. I love it because I think this would be a key, a key thought, a key anchoring belief, not just for paying your bills. Yes. No. It impacts every relationship. I mean, I can feel moments of joy, moments of fun, friendship. It just really impacts everything. So I think it's a powerful mantra. Yeah. be generous with my money or I can let money flow because there's more where that came from, but it's true. It's true in relationships. It's true in, like we said, creativity or inspired ideas. What if all the things that you thought could run out actually wouldn't run out? Fill in the blank, opportunities, friendships. Yeah, connection with God. Connection with God. The encounter I had, the love I feel today can actually be even more than that if I just let it flow. If we sat with this one truth and we truly meditated on it, I actually think it has the power to completely transform your life. And it's not just your money. It will transform every aspect of your life if you can believe that there's more where that came from, that there's a never ending supply. I can see it, I can feel it, I can hear it in your voice. I love that so much. I believe you. I believe it. Yes, girl. Yeah. Okay. Let's lean into a mantra that you have around abundance. And I think that it taps into what we were just talking about, but tell me about one of your favorites that connects into that abundance mindset as well. Well, the mantra that I wanna share is what's meant for me can't be taken from me. What's mine is mine. I'm not gonna lose it. It's not at risk to going to somebody else. And I think it's really very much in the same lane and realm of what you're discussing because for me personally, I think I felt inherently behind and maybe people can... can resonate with this. I moved back to America. I had lived in Eastern Europe for five years, but I came and I owned four suitcases. That's it. And I was pregnant and I lived in my childhood bedroom. And I was like, what did I do? Like it felt like a scramble coming back to the States and Mm-hmm. I think I probably felt behind from that moment. So I was very young and I just inherently was like, why did I make certain decisions? And then I had children and I was raising my kids. I thought, did I miss something that I was supposed to have been doing? Could it have been something better? Could there have been something more that God would have had me do? Did I spend my life raising kids instead of fill in the blank? I think that this belief diffuses so much anxiety and pain and the overall like, I got to get out of my life because I'm behind. Where I am now is not the right place. Ugh, yeah, that's real. How many of us have felt like this must be plan B or plan C God's plan? And I gotta get out of it. I gotta get somewhere else. But to really settle into my body and into my soul and to my heart and my emotions that actually nothing's lost and everything that's mine is mine. Just by the definition of it being mine, it's mine. And... that doesn't mean that another person doesn't share something that I will also have. That feels helpful to me because oftentimes seeing somebody else do and function and like I remember thinking when my sisters, their kids grew up and they could do things, like they could just leave the house. And I was like, oh my God, I just want to leave my house too. And I remember thinking, like when will that ever happen? But it's like, I get to have that and she gets to have that. The abundance thing I think really settles in. Like there's more of that where it came from, but what is mine will be mine. And so to me, I can see them connecting in a lot of ways, just your first mantra and this belief. What do you think about this concept of like, what's yours cannot be taken from you? I find it lowers the desperation energy. Yes. Because if I am afraid that I'm going to miss it, because that's part of what I heard you. And I'm like, if I'm not here, where am I supposed to be? Because sometimes we've talked to people or I've had my own experiences where I don't feel like I'm in the right place. But if you said, okay, where are you supposed to be? I couldn't really tell you. I would just have this vague feeling of unease. I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I'm not doing the right thing. I'm supposed to be someplace different. And so if I believe that what's meant for me can't be taken from me, It lowers the desperation because I don't have to worry about like, I might miss it. But it also helps me relax in relationships and around opportunities because I remember hearing somebody share this picture once and it really stuck with me. It was a great visual. They said, if we believe in the flow of abundance and you picture abundance like a river and you're standing in this river and the river's just rushing by you all the time and there's all these things, these provisions, these opportunities flowing by you at all times. If you really believe in abundance, that I don't need to hoard anything. I don't need to be grabbing at Dez's opportunity. I don't need to be grabbing at this thing. I'll grab, better get that because there's so much flowing by me. If I believe what's meant for me is gonna come and can't be taken away, then I can let those things flow through or let them go if it's not the best for me. And I can let you succeed or have the opportunity or have the friendship, whatever it might be, the financial growth or whatever; knowing that mine won't be taken away allows you to have yours. And it lowers that sense of competitive, sometimes where that envy can get in, that jealousy can sneak in of just like, well, why did you get that? But if I go, actually mine can't be taken away. It's like there's this Dez- sized little key that's gonna fit the opportunities that are meant for you are going to fit into that key in your heart and in your life. And it won't fit mine. It won't fit my key. It won't be the same fitting. It won't be the same opportunity. So knowing that what is yours is going to come to you and it can't be taken away. It's like, oh, lower the stakes, let the, let the desperate feelings and the scrambling and the hustling go and it lets me settle into a little bit more peace and calm of, this river is going to flow by and what's mine is going to actually be drawn and what's Dez's is going to be drawn to her. And there's no, did you get mine or did I get yours? It's like, we both got what we needed. Cause there's more, there's more where that came from anyway. Totally. Yeah, well, when you describe the peace, it feels like acceptance. And I see a lot of resistance to what is right now because I'm afraid I won't get the thing that I want the most. Yes, okay. So, I mean, in my own heart, when I had young kids and I was at home nursing and toddler-ing and doing all the things, my heart... I couldn't accept that this was my season of motherhood because I felt I should be somewhere else. And I might miss the thing that's gonna be mine. And so when you're talking about like flowing and peace, I'm like, that's acceptance. It's like, this is what's happening right now. This is what's going on. But because I believe what's mine will not be taken from me, I can just accept it. I can believe that at the right time, the right place that will flow right to me. It'll be just my vein of things. It'll come. I don't know where it is. Can't call it yet. It's coming. It's coming. Can't see it, but it's on its way. And it allow you to embrace the season that you're in with a lot more presence. for sure. That's been so true for my life. So yeah, I think that's what makes it so powerful. Yeah, it lets you have what's yours and it lets you let other people and it to me, helps me celebrate others more and celebrate their opportunities and their successes and things that happen around me with a genuine celebration, those pretend like congratulations, sometimes we're like, fingers down a chalkboard. If we don't believe that we're going to get what we need or what's meant for us is going to be ours, then it can... yeah, it can be harder to celebrate other people getting the things that we want because it can fuel the belief that, well, maybe that means I'm going to miss out. And so... Mm-hmm. Tell me, what is your next mantra for abundance that you live by? Give us some more of the tea. Okay. The mantra that I love, it's actually a verse out of the Bible, is all things are possible. And in my line of work, I work with clients to help them heal their relationship with money and inadvertently that also heals their relationship with what they believe is possible for them. A common belief that we'll often run into when we've had pain or trauma or experiences in the past that have hurt us is these scarcity mindsets of, it's not possible for me. Helping us lean into the truth that actually all things are possible. Jesus wasn't lying when he said all things are possible to him who believes. I like to think of it as this unlimited field of possibilities. As far as your eye can see, there's just possibilities for your life. And then behind you, as far as you can see, there's possibilities and out to your left and to your right, there are possibilities and there are so many choices. For any possible eventuality, there is an option for it. If you can conceive of it, you can have it. As I have meditated on this truth and continued to cultivate that, I feel like for me personally, it has stirred up a lot of faith for what is possible. And the thing I love about faith is I can share that faith with other people too. Not only do I believe all things are possible, but being able to help other people begin to expand that capacity of what they believe is possible for their life is very delightful. And I know that you've done this kind of work with people as well, Dez, of helping them expand the possibility around their lives. There's something very fulfilling when the light bulb starts to go on and people's hearts begin to come alive again and the things that they thought were fantasy or that's just for somebody else, but that couldn't be for me. When they start to shift that belief and go, oh, actually this could work for me too. And the light bulbs start turning on and the inspiration starts hitting them. That is a very satisfying experience for me. And so this is a belief that I absolutely believe. And very much want to impart to the people around me because I have this wild belief and I don't actually think it's that wild. But if we're actually called, if the Lord's Prayer says, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. I have this belief that every single dilemma, problem, brokenness that society faces today has solutions lying in the hearts of men and women already. And that every problem we face in society today, there's somebody out there who has a solution in their heart. Because I do not believe that God has put us on earth and hasn't given us the tools and equipped us with the ability to make wrong things right, to see restoration, to see redemption in situations. I feel this inner conviction of how do I ignite people and awaken people to the things that are in their hearts to do? Those seeds of desire, those blueprints from heaven that were placed in them from conception, they were knitted together in their mother's womb. They have these desires, they have these dreams that if they really took action on them and they knew how to bring those to pass, maybe for some person it would be uh changing their family lineage. Maybe it would be breaking the cycle of poverty or addiction in their family line. But maybe for somebody else it would be revolutionizing the criminal justice system or the foster care system or something like that where it could be a global influence or it could be as important as looking at your immediate family and immediate circle of influence and going, how do I change? How do I bring light to darkness? How do I bring life to death? How do I make wrong things right? The reason it feels so important to me to not only believe that all things are possible, but help other people believe in it because I think sometimes we can have this fatalistic, well, Jesus, know, it's what's going to happen is happen. And you know, if Jesus wants to come and fix it, he'll come and fix it. And he's like, no, I got all the authority back and gave it to you so that you could continue to make earth look like heaven in my absence. And so that, that was a little side tangent and a soap box, but it taps into my deeper sense of purpose, which is I want to empower good people to have the money and resources so that they can do the good things in the earth that they were born to do. Amen. I love that soapbox. I love that. And I think that it is your deeper purpose and we can feel it. You can feel the passion behind it. When I think about faith and I think about the realm of faith, so I just want to get back to the mantra here and just what I heard you say. And the gift to your life is to share it and to impart it and to cultivate and nourish in others what has been blossoming and flourishing inside of you. The impact that this has to believe something is possible, to believe there is hope your internal space, people are transformed. To suddenly think I'm allowed to want healthy connection. Like before, I didn't think that was possible. And the amount of life that floods in. The belief that I'm lovable transforms the internal and external world of humans. We see this over and over and over again in our client work. And I know that this is like such a gift because I see you like having one hand, like you have one hand in heaven and then you have one hand holding your client and you're just like, let's go. And you're just like, you're bridging them to these unlimited Because it's so real to me. And I know it's not just real to me because it's in my mind. It's real to me because it's real. I'm not making this up. This is real. How do I communicate a reality that I know is true in as succinct and clear a way to people so that they can, it's like, you know, how can I create something that they want to eat? It's like, is yummy. And then it empowers them and nourishes them to run with the things that are in their heart to do. yeah. This is fun. We like, can talk about this all day, because we love these kinds of things. book their sessions with Mel. Okay, don't think twice. Yes, this was beautiful. This was so good. Okay. We're going to make a little bit of a left turn here because I know we could talk about abundance all day and it could be its own podcast episode. But I want to talk now about some mantras around resilience and the emotional realm and building internal resilience. I feel like this is such an area of strength for you. And so I'm gonna let you talk about two or three here and just dive in and share some of these things that you have picked up from your own internal work and your own journey and how that has transformed your life and the way you see it bearing fruit for you. It's so funny because when you said I've seen this as a place of strength for you, I'm like, yeah, it's because I've been in the mud wrestling this out for my life. So I'm like, yeah, it's been messy. some hard fought battles listeners, please understand. This has not come cheap for us. These next three that I wanted to share, they almost piggyback on each other. So I might just flow from one to the other. But I think anybody who's worked with me or read my journal, this mantra is such a pillar for me that's really freed my system up to hold life differently and it's the belief that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. And when I first heard this, I was actually on the Camino in 2022 and it was such a matter of fact way that this woman that I was just walking with, I'd never met her before. She's like, you do know this is true. And shame was such a big part of my life that any moment of pain created a shame meaning for me. Like, my God, like my car broke down. I would literally have a shame spiral. This must mean that I'm not a good adult. I created meanings. Pretty much any pain moment would have such a shameful meaning attached to it, that it would almost take me out. Pain, instead of it being a natural part of life, it was the indicator that I was failing. It was the indicator that I wasn't enough. And in this statement that pain is inevitable, it transfers that, it shifts that away of like, pain is a part of the human experience on earth, period. It's not something that we're supposed to prevent or have the power to prevent or something in what we're doing or processing we could eliminate all pain from our family, all pain from our friends. My God, if we could have, we would have figured this out people. I just want to tell everyone it's not possible. It's like when Jesus is saying in this life you will have trouble, you will have pain. That's clear. We're spending all this energy and emotional energy thinking I'm failing because pain's happening. And I just want to be like, no, we just got to get rid of the shame of that. To balance this next part of this mantra is that, suffering is optional. And I mean, I sat with this. I was like, what is that like? What do you mean by that? I really was like, how can suffering be optional in a world full of pain? And I really felt in my life that there was a way that I could hold my pain that would cause extreme suffering. So for example, if in the story of why my best, old best friends aren't my best friends anymore, if in that painful situation, the story is I'm unlovable and I'm not a good friend, that amount of suffering would take me out and it did take me out. I work day after day with humans in their most vulnerable states. So it's real. I'm not trying to deny pain, but what you believe about why that pain's happening causes extreme suffering. And if we can pause that, we can stop that. If we can hold our pain differently, then suffering is optional. Pain is inevitable, but then suffering through our life, through this painful experience is optional. And I think one of the biggest things that this did was allowed God to comfort me. Wow. Speak to that. Because in the shame narrative, I was like, I must be failing God. He must be thinking, Dez, figure this out. If I had the power to prevent this pain, I always had the sense of like, I'm falling short from God. Somehow this is an indicator that he's unhappy or that I failed him. And by holding my pain differently, I allowed God to come in and comfort me. I allowed him to be like the person who actually cared about what was happening as well. Whereas before he was distant and separate feeling like, can you figure this out? Can you get this right? And I noticed a lot of people feel that God is far in pain. And I think that there can be a lot of internal beliefs of why this is happening. And I think that question goes into my next mantra. It's like, what is the story you're telling yourself about this situation? Is the story that I'm telling myself that God's unhappy, I missed the calling, I must have not heard him So many sweet humans are like, I can't hear God because pain equals that. That's the story they're telling themselves. Yes. out, so I must be getting punished for being bad. Or I've done something bad. I'm bad. I've done something wrong. Absolutely. I've misstepped. I didn't read something right. Maybe I should have done this thing instead of this thing or, man, I lost my job and maybe that, if you find your brain just being like, what could I have done differently or wrong, let's slow down and notice the story you're telling yourself about this situation. If I just did this one thing for the rest of my life, reframe the story I'm telling myself, I would have so much more peace. Just this one thing. And there's so many things I would love to give the world and even my own system. But to reframe the story is to offer in a very weird way, like a more abundant, more loving narrative. What if God isn't mad at you that this thing happened? What if he's sad and wants to be close to you? What if he cares about this? What if it mattered to him? Just even reframing that story changes so much in a human heart and a human nervous system, in the livelihood of a person. What do you say to people when they're stuck? Because it is dare I say, a symptom of certain religious cultures to grow up with a lot of shame, a lot of narratives that automatically make that story meaning something negative about me and who I am. What's one key or two keys that you would offer to those people who are going, I agree, I definitely have some weird stories that I make up. How do I reframe? One of the places I tend to offer an alternative is I try to offer a more loving theology of God. So much of our sense of God is a lot of our parents, which anyone who does inner child work like I can see so much of your experience in parenting or in your life culture and your family culture in this experience, but could we for a moment acknowledge that God is kind, that God actually likes you, that God loves you, that God isn't angry at you every moment of the day? That is extraordinarily life-changing for people. And so I start to cultivate a truer theology of God, a more kind, a more gentle, a more loving, a more peace-filled version of him. And I think that reframing the story and like maybe this isn't the whole story, maybe it's not this, you know? That's of course how I would work with beliefs around God, but even with the friendships. I think that where I land now and I reframe it and I noticed the story I'm telling myself, the story sounds a lot more like, yeah, we were probably in a lot of pain and a lot of our trauma responses. We were all trying to do the best we knew how and we didn't have that many tools and we hurt each other and it was messy. I was hurt, they were hurt. So the reframing of it provides this environment where I get to be human, they get to be human. And so a lot of the stories that we're shifting and reshaping looks like a lot more humanity, a lot more grace, less and less is it about an identity statement of what's happening. So what's happening now is not my identity. So if I could like paraphrase it down and distill it to that, How do I shift this from being my identity in this moment? How do I reframe it? Like, this is just a moment. People have moments. People are messy. It happens. Yeah, doesn't make you bad. Yeah, doesn't make you bad. It's just a moment. And anyways, this last mantra in this category that's just, it's something that's really helped. As you could tell, I probably had a lot of attachment to God issues, So this next, as you could probably tell. many of us do though, this is gonna be gold for some listeners out there who really want to reframe their relationship with God. I think there's so many people who are hungry for a healthier relationship with God; of the theology they've been taught has not empowered that. It's actually made God scary. I love that you're shining a light on some of your journey because I feel like it's offering a life vest to some people who might be feeling like they want to be close to God, but God doesn't feel super safe to them. So this is great. of course. Yeah. So the mantra that I live by is separation from God is an illusion. And my teacher taught me this and when he said it, I was like, hmm, this is really pushing some buttons. I was like, hmm, do I believe this? I had a lot of logical belief about this. Like I believed that nothing could separate me from God here. yes, in your mind. But every part of my nervous system and my body did not believe that. Because abandonment was one of my core woundings as a kid, this has been one of the most healing mantras: I am not abandoned. Any concept of separation is an illusion. How can I see God? created more energy for me to actively look for him than to accept and to believe that I was separated from him. I was like, no, that's already an illusion. I know that that's not possible. What am I not seeing? What am I not noticing? How could I tune in to where God really is, to the truth? This belief system has been growing in me for a couple of years. When I had COVID, em one of the things that I was challenged to do in an experience where I was like, man, I did not think it was gonna go like this, which is, when you really need to be reassured that you're not separated from God. So this is, was traveling overseas during COVID and I got COVID, which I was shocked because I didn't even feel sick, but I wasn't allowed to return to the United States and to my family. I needed a negative COVID test in order to reenter to the United States. And so my trip was, prolonged by seven days. There's worse things that could happen, but my kids were ready for me to come home. they were crying, when is mom ever gonna come? And it wasn't planned. But I remember actively practicing this all of my energy was like, no, God is with me. This is an illusion that he's not here, or he doesn't care about this, or that there's some shameful meaning of like, maybe I shouldn't have come overseas, because look, I got COVID and this is proof that I'm failing in some way, and the whole shame narrative. But I remember actively thinking, I'm looking for you, God. What do I not see yet? Help me to see you. And that's when I walked in and a little Portuguese lady sat me down. She says, my name is Jesus and I'm here to help you. I was like, Oh my gosh. That's what even makes that story even more powerful. And I was like, your name is Jesus. She's like, yeah. She shows me her name badge. And I was just like a hundred percent convinced. It just came at such a brilliant, beautiful time. uh on your little path. It's like, yep, girl, I'm here. God handled that just really great. I laughed, I cried, it was beautiful. But yeah, I mean, in this mantra, I would encourage the listener to think, what are the areas of your life, or in what types of situations do you think that you're separate from God? And how can you believe a little bit more, even 5 % more that that is just an illusion? So good. And such powerful truths. Again, any one of those has the power to transform your life if you really let it percolate underneath the surface and just work its life into your system for sure. oh so good. All right, as we wrap up this episode, Mel, is there any mantra that you wanted to also share with us? Yeah, I feel like this taps into a lot of what you've been sharing. It's the belief that life is happening for me, not happening to me. It just weaves so much together of what we've already talked about of rather than being a victim to my circumstances, if I can choose to see the fact that even the things that feel like setbacks are actually working out for my best. It will absolutely act as a game changer. Sometimes when I've encountered conversations or experiences where maybe two separate people have had what could be perceived as a really difficult experience, maybe even similar experiences, the person who's able to see that actually life is working out for me, and this is gonna lead to something good, it's gonna lead to something empowering, will often bounce back from difficult circumstances faster than somebody who believes everything's not working out. I am a victim of my life. I don't have any say over what happens. I have to take whatever comes. I think for me, this is probably one of the oldest mantras that I've had, but I picked it up before I realized it. My mom had cancer when I was young. I was 12 when she was diagnosed and she died right after my 13th birthday. And I remember standing in the bedroom where her hospital bed was set up in our house. I remember being in there one day and we were just talking about some things. And I remember this thought going through my head and it was, even if she dies, something good is gonna come out of this. I can't credit it to anything else than probably the voice of God anchoring me and something about that belief because she died shortly after that. And I remember encountering people throughout my life who had lost a parent or a very significant person in their life at a young age. And I remember for me, I I still had to go through the grieving process and there were still things that took many years for me to work through. But I remember encountering other people who hadn't had that mindset. And when they had lost this person, the level of devastation even years later that they were having to work through because of a slightly different perspective. And there was no judgment for them for feeling that way. But I recognized for me having that anchor of, life is working for me. It is working for my good is working on my behalf helped carry me through things that I truly think could have devastated me on a much deeper level. It was hard. And I had to work through some really difficult seasons as a result. But I see that as a lifeline that brought me through and helped me have a optimistic perspective on my life that I truly don't know if I would have been able to hold onto it that way had I not had that experience. Even if she dies, it's going to be okay. Something good is going to come from this. I feel like that has probably been one of the underlying... belief systems that has guided me for almost as long as I can remember, definitely since childhood. Holding onto the belief that it is working for me. Even if I can't see how it's happening yet, and even if it looks like it's worse before it gets better, holding onto that lifeline of it is working out and it will work out for good has definitely impacted me in ways that I probably will never know what the alternative would have been, but it's been a total game changer. for sure. So life is working for you. It is working for you. Yeah. Even when you can't see it. That creates so much safety to be in your right now life. No matter what experience is happening, you can accept that this is what's happening because the end result is not ultimate devastation and hopelessness and it's not the end. Can't call it yet. end. Can't call it yet. And, for the listener, if you've listened to just this episode, I encourage you go back to listen to last week's episode as well, because a lot of the mantras that we talked about today really do weave into what we discussed last week too. That's the beauty of truth. Truth has so many facets and it weaves different parts of our lives together. We can talk about abundance and that can have to do with money and it can have to do with a moment outside on your porch watching the butterflies fly by. There's so many different things that it can flow into. And the same with the way life is working on our behalf and the goodness of God and all the good things. Dez, anything you wanna say as we close out? Yeah, something about truth or those treasures that we're offering or saying, is that you get to borrow them. You get to use them, try them on, you get to take them as your own. There's so many things like if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. I have adopted that more and more because of Mel and vice versa. One of the ladies who's in our mentorship last year, she even said, I can notice the things that I've heard you guys believe in the last year. I can feel them inside of me becoming my own. They seem so true now, they seem so real now. And I think that that's the work of trying them on and integrating them into your life. Expanding what used to be true to these new options, and more truths, adding in more safety for your life. So I just bless you all to take what you want, leave what you don't want, free to borrow them. And this was so fun. I love doing this with you, Mel. So thank you so much for being here with us. We'll see you guys soon. Thank you for being here, friends. Bye. Bye.